Hurricane Heist  ★★

I SHOULD have done more homework before watching Hurricane Heist.

From the title, premise and a brief look at the poor visual effects in the trailer, I was assuming something more tough-in-cheek.

Maybe not to the self-deprecating extent of Sharknado, but surely some self-parody, a suggestion here and there that ‘hey, we all know it’s ridiculous, but we’re having fun anyway’.

Unfortunately, director Rob Cohen, his writers and stars didn’t get that memo and play out the entire film straight-faced, even when they are surrounded by some of the worst visual effects I’ve seen in recent years.

Even the most casual of viewers will be able to notice where the stunt work ends and the computer effects teams take over, particularly for the climactic sequences where people are leaping from truck to truck and engaging in gun fights while trying to out-run the approaching hurricane, which just looks like a noisy dark cloud.

The first 10 minutes of the film are quite arresting, with a father and his two sons trying to escape an approaching hurricane. The effects here are probably the best of the film.

We then jump to years later when the boys are men, one’s a meteorologist and the other is a plumber, and end up working with a guard, at least I think that’s what she is, to foil a robbery of a US Treasury Mint.

I can’t even be bothered writing about the story any further because hardly anyone reading this will watch the film anyway.

There are a trio of actors who have all been around for at least a decade and have never made a great impression despite getting regular chances in half-decent films – Australian Ryan Kwaten, Maggie Grace (one of the worst actresses going around) and Toby Kebbell.

The southern American accents are all over the place, including from Grace who I thought is an American?

Considering the director, cast and shooting in Bulgaria I’m not sure where the $45 million budget for this film went. I’d definitely be asking for a discount on the visual effects invoice.