Tammy and the T-Rex (at MONSTER FEST ’19)   ★★★

A TEENAGE girl is mourning the loss of her boyfriend, left in a coma after being mauled by a lion.

But suddenly there is a tap on her upstairs bedroom window – it’s the dinosaur with her boyfriend’s brain here to re-connect with his true love.

Tammy and the T-Rex, released in 1994, is absolutely bonkers…and I enjoyed almost all of it.

This comedy had a special showing at the 2019 Monster Fest horror festival, mainly because a newly restored version features several gory scenes that were previously removed in order to get a PG-13 rating, but also because it’s great, stupid fun to watch with an audience.

It features truly awful, early performances from Denise Richards(pre Wild Things) and Paul Walker (yes, the Fast and Furious one, just 21 years-old at the time) as high school sweet-hearts Tammy and Michael.

Tammy also has an ex-boyfriend, Billy, who has spent time in prison and is still infatuated with her. Billy and his gang of high school thugs attack Michael and dump him alone on foot in a wild animal park that happens to be conveniently located nearby.

Michael is attacked by a lion but, despite being mauled for what seems like 10 seconds or so, he winds up in hospital in just a coma with all his features intact.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the city, the crazy Dr Wachenstein has brought a Tyrannasaurus-Rex back to physical life but needs a brain to complete his experiment.

Aided by his big-breasted, mini-skirt clad assistant Helga, he steals Michael’s body and implants his brain into the T-Rex. But Michael’s brain takes over and its desire to find Tammy becomes the dinosaur’s key goal, along with squashing a few of their enemies along the way.

You can react to this film in two ways, depending on the mood you’re in. Yes, it’s awful in almost every technical way, including atrocious special effects.

But get past the first 10 minutes or so and I will wager most people will end up watching the entire movie. Amazingly, the script gets better as it goes along and there are many genuinely funny moments.

There’s the opening cheerleader chant about dinosaurs, before any T-Rex thread has even been introduced; the depiction of Tammy’s gay, black best friend; the T-Rex not only being able to use a pay phone but also checking for any leftover change; the special effects that at times make the T-Rex look like its floating on air; the brain surgery using a knife, jigsaw and staple gun; etc, etc.

This is a film gift that just keeps on giving, only running out of steam 10 minutes or so before the completion of its mercifully short, sub 90-minute running time.

In the parallel universe of terrible films, Tammy and the T-Rex is up there with the best of them.